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Jay: Welcome back. Alicia Silverstone is on her way out. [snip]
Jay: All right. You know my first guest from movies like Clueless, Batman and Robin and Love's Labour's Lost. She is now producing and doing one of the voices for a new animated TV show called Braceface which is on the Fox Family Channel. Please welcome Alicia Silverstone.
[audience applauds] [band plays theme music from Braceface]
Jay: Hey, you look
great! Good to see you again!
Alicia: You too!
Jay: You're looking
very *natural*!
Alicia: Thank you.
Jay: I know you're
like a natural person, right? Like you're gardening all the time. You grow your
own vegetables.
Alicia: Yes.
Jay: How's that going?
Okay?
Alicia: It's so good.
Just recently I discovered that I was sitting on a gold mine.
Jay: Sitting on a gold mine. Now what, you found oil in your backyard? What happened?
Alicia: No, I found
dog poop! [audience laughs]
Jay: Dog poop in
the backyard?
Alicia: Yeah! All
this time I had--well I have this geological problem and I couldn't figure out
what to do about it. My hill was all sliding down and stuff. And this guy came
out and he was like "You don't have a geological problem--you have some
other kind of problem"; and he left.
Jay: Wait. Hang on,
hang on, hang on. Okay, your house is about to slide down the hill. Who told
you, you had a geological problem? Like did scientists--
Alicia: It's too
convoluted. I don't really know who--somehow we knew that the hill was falling
down. I mean, we could see it was falling down.
Jay: You see parts
of the hill that used to be at the top, at the bottom of the hill. [audience
laughs]
Alicia: Yes.
Jay: Okay. That's a sign! [Alicia laughs]. Okay.
Alicia: And then--well
finally what we did was we called in our hippie friends. They're these raw hippies.
And they drive like a solar bus.
Jay: What is a "solar
bus"?
Alicia: It's run--well--they're using "good fuel" as opposed to--
Jay: Now what would
that be? I'm curious.
Alicia: Well you
can use hemp fuel.
Jay: Hemp fuel?
Alicia: Yes.
Jay: That's how Kev
gets around. [reference to Kevin Eubanks, Jay's band leader]
Alicia: Yeah. [audience
laughter] [Kevin laughs]
Jay: What does that
mean? So you have marijuana -- that's not a bus you want to be behind in traffic.
[audience laughs]
Alicia: There's no
marijuana involved.
Jay: Oh, I see.
Alicia: Just hemp.
Jay: Now how does
it run on hemp?
Alicia: Well it's
the oil. All these oils are really good oils. Or you can use vegetable oil --
as opposed to destroying the planet using the other kind of oil.
Jay: Oh. All right. Okay.
Alicia: So, anyway,
they've got this little bus. And it's, like, a really, really environmentally
great bus. And they're these really cool people. And they're raw. They only
eat raw food.
Jay: Only raw food?
Alicia: Vegan raw
food.
Jay: So, like, they
would eat a cow live, you mean?
Alicia: No! Vegan
raw food. [audience laughs]
Jay: Oh, vegan raw
food. Oh, so they don't cook the vegetables.
Alicia: Yeah, exactly.
Jay: Why? What's
wrong with -- you're not hurting -- [in small voice] "help me!"; It's
not like the vegetables -- [audience laughter]
Alicia: No, no, no.
This is like a purely -- you'd have to get them on to describe it to you. But
it's really like -- it's like a really -- people have, like, "de-aged"
themselves by being raw.
Jay: Right.
Alicia: You know
what I mean? Like, there's this woman in Chicago. She's, like, 60, and she looks
like she's about 35.
Jay: Joan Collins!
Alicia: Not here.
Jay: Oh. [audience
laughs] [Alicia laughs]. Wait, wait. Go back to the dog poop.
Alicia: Okay, the
dog poop--
Jay: Okay so you
have a hill that's filled with dog poop. And this has saved your house from
falling.
Alicia: Yes-- no,
I had dog poop everywhere and I was like "Well how do I do it" and
it's annoying--you have to pick it up when people come over because there's
poop everywhere.
Jay: Right.
Alicia: So finally
I realized--
Jay: Don't have anybody over. Just live in the dog poop! [Alicia laughs]. All right. Go ahead.
Alicia: So finally
I had these raw hippies come over and they helped me to make shelves and make
compost. So you take the dog poop and throw it onto one of the shelves and--
Jay: These are shelves
in your house? You mean bookshelves? [Alicia laughs]
Alicia: No they're
in the garden.
Jay: You mean outside.
Oh, in the garden.
Alicia: See you're
taking the hill. You're recycling--like we went and picked up wood that was
just left on the street that people were throwing away.
Jay: Right.
Alicia: Take that
wood and put planks in front of it. Now you've got a shelf. So the hill can't
fall down because it's--you know what I mean? It's got like shelves going down.
Jay: Yeah, okay.
Alicia: Okay. So
anyway, you take those shelves and inside of them at the top of the shelf you
put a whole bunch of dog poop and every time you eat a banana or like--you're
making mangos or passion fruit--the skins or the pits--you throw it into the
compost so it's all mixing together. The pits, the skins, the dog poop.
Jay: Do you have
like a toilet in your house or do you just go out and squat when you --[audience
laughter]
Alicia: Sometimes
if I can't make it--
Jay: Do you just
squat on your hill? [audience laughs]
Alicia: If I can't
make it I do.
Jay: Eliminate the
middleman!
Alicia: Exactly!
Anyways, the point is--
Jay: Now these are
not hippies, these apparently are Neanderthals that have come to your home.
[audience laughs]
Alicia: It's very
cool. [Jay laughs]. The greatest thing is now there's all these beautiful wildflowers
and beautiful fruits and vegetables, I didn't even plant!
Jay: And it's got
to smell terrific! [audience laughs]
Alicia: It smells
good.
Jay: Now what do
your neighbors think when they see you collecting feces and piling it up on
your hill? I mean--
Alicia: Well they're
happy because before it was like, the smell would get yucky with the heat, you
know. But now when you're covering it with all these peels and pits and leaves,
it's just wonderful.
Jay: Okay. All right.
Alicia: So I highly
recommend it!
Jay: Now what were
we talking about before? Oh, yeah. About you having a messy face. You know what
I'm talking about?
Alicia: Oh well,
you know, because I do the show Braceface and everybody keeps saying "Well,
how do you relate to the 12-year-old?" and I'm like "Well --"
Jay: It's about a
girl that has braces and people make fun of her, is that what the show--
Alicia: Yeah, everybody is calling her Braceface, making fun of her constantly.
She's sort of a geeky, awkward girl and she gets braces which like destroy her
life, because you know, she's already geeky enough as it is. She doesn't need
*braces* to, you know--
Jay: Right.
Alicia: And so it's
just all about what all the angst and stuff that goes on at that age. And um,
what was the point? Oh about--
Jay: Oh, yeah! Yeah.
[Alicia laughs]. You said when your face is messy--
Alicia: Right! Oh,
so they're just saying "How do you relate to this 12-year-old?" And
I'm like "I still feel 12" and, you know, people are always telling
me, you know, "You've got stuff on your face." And like, who cares?
Cause I don't really--I eat, it goes everywhere. It's like all over my shirt.
It's all over my face. Sometimes I have green paint all over me!
Jay: Okay. Okay,
so let's backtrack. We don't pick up animal waste, we have stuff all over our
face!
Alicia: I pick it
up. I just move it to a more--
Jay: Okay.
Alicia: You know--proper
spot.
Jay: So if you have
food all over your face, you leave it there and it composts on you [audience
laughs]
Alicia: Well then
I just learned--my friend was just--
Jay: Just pack your
cheeks with stuff, and it composts?
Alicia: Well, I think
that--actually, one of my friends who's very, you know, good at this stuff and
very environmental--Laura--she was just telling me--she was talking to her little
vegan children, saying to them, "clean your--"
Jay: She has vegan
children? [audience laughs]
Alicia: Yes! They're
the coolest kids!
Jay: Now I knew some
people--now, this is true. This sounds like it's made up. But when I was--like,
macrobiotics was the hip thing when I was a kid. Like, when I was in college.
And I knew some people who had a kid. And the kid was 4 years old and couldn't
stand up. Literally. And they took it to the doctor. Said, "You know, a
macrobiotic diet is not good for children. It's okay for adults, but a kid needs
protein."
Alicia: Okay, I don't
know about that.
Jay: Well -- the
kid couldn't stand up.
Alicia: But it's
like, you know, a scientifically proven fact that, if you eat a vegan diet--
Jay: Even from--
Alicia: Even from
birth.
Jay: Now, how about
animals? You have dogs.
Alicia: They're the
healthiest children. My dogs are all vegan.
Jay: Now, what do
they eat? -- soy burgers?
Alicia: They eat
greens, broccoli. If ever you're cooking broccoli, just throw the broccoli on
the floor.
Jay: How do you get
your dog to eat broccoli?
Alicia: They love
it!
Jay: I can't get
my dog to eat filet [audience laughter]
Alicia: Well, then--that's
not good for them.
Jay: You think your
dog would eat broccoli, really?
Alicia: Yes! They
eat broccoli, tomatoes, bananas, avocados. My dogs are fat from eating avocados.
Jay: Really?
Alicia: Yeah. I'm
telling you.
Jay: And then they
go on the hill and then that goes back--[audience laughs]
Alicia: It's cheaper--it's
cheaper, healthier--
Jay: How many dogs
do you have?
Alicia: Well, I have
quite a few.
Jay: How many? Tell
me.
Alicia: I can't!
[laughs]
Jay: You're not allowed
to say?
Alicia: No!
Jay: You have more
dogs than you are allowed to have.
Alicia: No, I have
three dogs.
Jay: You have three
dogs--and then many strays. [Alicia laughs]. You're like that guy in Utah with
all the wives! All right. [audience laughs].
Alicia: Yes. [laughs]
Jay: Now this is
some of your cartoon. You do the voice for this?
Alicia: Yes.
Jay: All right. Let's
take a look at your cartoon. This is Braceface. Oh, is that you?
Alicia: Yes.
Jay: Is that supposed
to be you?
Alicia: Sharon Spitz.
Jay: That's Sharon
Spitz. Lets take a look. [clip of Braceface shown] [audience applauds]
Jay: Well that's
good!
Alicia: Yeah. It's
like the--It's the number one show--Fox Family--like the [highest] ratings--they've
ever had!
Jay: Yeah. Well that's
nice. You've done a nice thing. Well that sounds like--you know, you and I should
go out for steaks some night. We'll go out and have a nice steak dinner. [audience
laughs]. We'll take my '59 Cadillac, we'll go for steaks.
Alicia: That would
be great. I'd actually enjoy that. Because I could tell you about why it's so
bad the whole time.
Jay: Really? Okay,
we'll do that sometime. [audience laughs] [Alicia laughs] Alicia, thank you
very much.
Alicia: Thank you!
[audience applauds]
Jay: Alicia Silverstone. Be right back with Mick Foley right after this--
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