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Divine Humor: Clever Business Signs

At an Optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Plumber's Shop:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a Plumbing Company:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call us."

Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Another Pizza shop slogan:
"Buy our pizza. We knead the dough."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and put you out."

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"We'll be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At a New Orleans waste disposal company:
"Our business is picking up, but it still stinks."

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Please drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station:
"Tank heaven for little grills."

*****
Courtesy of Russ MICHAEL, Deborah Forester,
Alec Christos Gabbitas, and
Barbara Concoby via Jerry Rothstein / New Thought Weekly

*******************
Larry Morningstar
Divine Humor
mana8@mac.com
http://www.masterytv.net/mana7

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Mastery TV
Check out some of the excellent programming available
from Mastery TV, the new Television Network on the 'Net
go to: http://www.masterytv.net/mana7
select: "Watch a demo now!" then select: "Streaming"
then enter "demo" (without the quotation marks)
for both the user name and password, and select "sign in"
select your connection speed, then select "save"
Next select the program you want to watch. Enjoy!
For more info, contact me at mana8@mac.com

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Funny stories, jokes, riddles, conundrums.
Not your run of the mill stuff.
Low Volume: usually once a week or less.
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